Four-O-Meter

Hello Four-O-Meter Fans!!!!! DWalsh dropping in to say hello from our training trip in the wonderful city of Seattle. Now the weather might not be that fantastic, the water may have a wake or white cap too many at times, but the hospitality and support we have been shown while here has been tremendous.

We here at the Four-O-Meter Group appreciate our readers and fans and enjoy knowing that you out there are enjoying our posts. We would like to open up a Q and A to what YOU the readers would like to read more about. Be it the training, the lifting, the rowing, the Korzonification, just about anything. So please leave a comment on any of our stories or email us through Rowcoachmedia. We enjoy posting and hope you continue to enjoy reading.

As phase one of the four project comes to a close on our last day here in sunny san diego, I reflect on our progress. In the first days, proceding rapidly from suck to blow and beyond, we proved that four retarded monkeys can move a boat, even slightly drunk. Progress from there was more difficult, but with a little korzification and a lineup switch, we have persevered.

That thermometer seems poised for breakthrough. To reach that zenith that to date has so far eluded you, I have some recommendations. With FOM ratings stagnating, and MOM ratings elevated, there is obvious room for improvement. As past experience has shown, subtle - yet derisive - comments from other seats in the boat can result in increased performance. During one of your more quotidian paddles, suggest with a strong hint of condescension that Brett should "find the center of the lane." Following this comment, unload several additional technical critiques in fast succession.

Well another weekend of fishing has come and gone and with every new Monday comes a morning row in the four. Drunk fishermen in Chula Vista plague our weekends here and their 250 horse powered engines meaning one thing for us ERG. As stated before the erg has no effect on the Four-O-Meter and the rise of its mercury. "So how do you guys plan to reach Sling Shot Engaged with no weekend rowing?' people have asked. Well we said that erging doesn’t push the red but there are other activities that do. Along with the Four-O-Meter (FOM) there is also the Morale-O-Meter (MOM) (we are going through the archives to see if we can find an original draft of the MOM and its different levels), which was invented by a one Bryan Volpenheim back in 2004. Now when the MOM is high it makes reaching the top of the FOM easier, but if the MOM is low then having progress in the FOM is nearly impossible. One of the ways the MOM was raised this weekend was that our very own Baby Steve was able to get in some intense altitude training, now I cannot reveal our secrets or give you extensive details but I can say that Steve was found on Sunday morning with a smile on his face which can only indicate that morale was on the rise. After picking up Steve from his training site we had our daily group shower and headed to see “Hannibal Rising”. I decided to take a nap during part of the movie; I guess I did too much resistance training on Saturday night doing half-yard dashes.

We welcome Smithy to the Four-O-Meter group using his experience and knowledge from the light straight four at the 2004 Olympics. We also look forward to his vast expertise in ass-kickery from representing our country as an Army Ranger. That’s right Four-O-Meter has some serious back up, even Pedro can't give you this much protection.
DWalsh

Just wanted to extend a warm welcome to Left Arm Tan to the Four-O-Meter group. Left arm for all those who don't know was the bow ninja of the U.S straight four at the 2006 World Championships in Eton, England. We look forward to his wisdom and experience in getting the Four-O-Meter to "Sling Shot Engaged". Till the next time Four-O-Meter fans.
DWalsh

Ha HA! The 4- has once again emerged, in all its glory, from its fragile crysalis, completing the transformation from its former quadipillar state. The four-o-meter is once again in full effect. With the departure of Imes, our last semblance of a sweep coach, we called in the reserves...Kris Core-zin-ow-ski, two-sticker technician extraordinairre. Prior to practice he gathered the four together in a little meeting to assure us that he was not going to do too much coaching for fear of sending us back to Teti "all fucked up." Then, after launching, he immediately proceeded to comment on every single stroke every one of us took...at the same time. The criticisms all started with "No, no, no, shit fucking," but slowly morphed into "Yeeees, excellent, beautiful, zis is perfect stroke." Crazy thing is the damn boat was actually moving pretty damn well by the end of practice, much to the pleasant surprise of "the 4." Oh we gettin' da mojo back, bitches.

First day: Derigged the quad. Attempted to correctly rig it as a 4- and was appalled at the modifications that appeared in the form of excess drill holes and crazily moved tracks. This ultimately led to a 4- rigging that said "Yes, Virgina, you can still row with your feet 8 clicks behind the pin, but it's gonna suck something fierce." Our original calculation of starting the 4-o-meter at "blow" was an overestimation.

As the morale-o-meter bounces wildly out of control, the four-o-meter is steadily climbing. The four has been derigged and reluctantly returned to the scullers for a few days of not cleaning and possibly some out of control rigging experiments. Still, we have proven that, while erging has NO effect on the four-o-meter, maxing out bench press in the weight room can have a significant effect. Dan walsh's impressive display of masculinity yesterday pushed the scale nearly all the way to "not too shitty," the highest reading recorded since the inception of the meter early this week. On a sadder note, tonight we bid farewell to our friend and interim coach matt imes as he returns to the frozen wasteland we fondly call the Princeton Training Center. Good luck and god speed.